Love, the sundry little emoticon
missed by a strung-out society,
so starved, as to ache for it

So worked up, so busy, so trapped
by our lives,
we can abhor its shadow

But we need it, like water.

We need its touch,
we need its sensuality,
its caring,
its caress.

We need its chides,
its worry,
and its
confusing, yet stable, cry.

Cry for love, ~ Iggy Pop

Love matters, it draws us to find
connection to other people,
to family, to friends.

It's the only reason, FB is even remotely relevent.

Reach you, in the New Year

love,
m.

Electrons attract,
neutrons repel

Atomic energy explodes

yet no tension
is greater
than this

a force
a whisper

so quiet, so deep
so powerful

it weakens the mighty,
divides countries
and topples governments
bankrupts many

its a force
that is undeniable

palpable

imaginary,
real

alive, with energy
stirring the soul

m.

The beast it has controlled
and tolled
the bridge for too long

It sucked my life blood
like a black hole
I struggled
to stay afloat, against its pull

Turning my intentions
sour
like so much Mother's milk

Centered:
the concept embodies a
sense of getting the balance right

But in the center, lies the unknown
the controller,
the master-blaster

The velocity and suction
is enough to flatten the
strongest foundations

To conquer it, to unearth and understand it
is to feel the heat of the center of the earth
or the brightness of
100 times that of the Sun

So intrigued by this center-force,
so necessary to touch its sanctity
and so scared
to know

I journey to the center of it

m.

Schizophrenia, split personality, it seems we're all about putting
on our faces for the world.

No meds prescribed, we hear and listen and obey
to these strange masters in our head.

Living our authentic self, not the norm, but some ill-fitting suit with a tie,
or more apropo, 'noose'.  Damned if we do, dangling if we don't.

There's no time to live for 'the others'.

Your voices, yes "your voices" in your head ... guilting you,
telling you, steering you, directing you to be
something other than
what

you were born to be.

We're bifurcated. Split in two, carrying on the life
we lead, and wanting the life we don't.

Peace comes in rare glimpses, of what could be
if we could only be
our authentic self.

If we could only grasp the beauty, and fleeting nature
of our short-lived life,
maybe then
we would find peace.

And quiet the voices,
that split us in two,
before

time

the real theif, steals away
the thoughts, and memories and
opportunities we'd have
if we didn't listen

to the voices that,
unfortunately for most,

split us in two.

m.

Eating Dal is one of the most nutritious things you can do for yourself.

Dal (lentils) come in many colors (red, brown, green, yellow) and are eaten in many cultures from Indian, to Chinese
to Mexican cultures.

Lentils contain insoluble fiber with helps speed up the passage of food in the intestines and improves
your bodily function that elminates waste.

There are many important minerals and B vitamins and lots of protein in dal,
all with virtually no fat.   (Ladies, there is lots of iron in those little lentils, too!)

A whole cup of lentils contains just about 230 calories.

Here's a simple recipe that you can find green lentils, or if you have access to an Indian store, green moong dal will be great.

The garlic and ginger will highlight the flavors with the indian spices, too.  I don't add "hot" spices, but if you like
that temperature ... add some serrano chilis, or other favorite spices for heat (red chile powder, even red bottled hot sauce or habenero sauce)

Have a cup with lunch and dinner, incorporate it as a starter for your meals,
you'll eat less, be more satiated (and regular) and not have much fat.

If you don't have gee, use coconut oil(not butter).

Whole recipe here (PDF) Green Dal w Spinach.pdf (82.70 kb)

Enjoy,

m.

So much of life, is slow
muddled,
void of meaning and protracted ...

Suffering from stop-starts, whines, quips
incompetence and then ... moments

that for some unexplained reason,
everything falls into place.

I blame it on intention,
and desire.

Two of the core words of my embodiment,
are intention - that which I set out to do
and desire - wanting it

at least enough not to give up, immediately.

Then I get to the place where my biggest,
wildest, and lucrative idea comes
and scares the shit out of me.

Literally, can't stop the intention train,
and then desire starts to get
muddied,
with so much of life,

add a dose of fear, doubt and a bit of anxiety
and I'm ready to call the whole thing off.

The word I haven't yet embodied - sticktoitiveness.

And I always bristled at the 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration idea ...
like who would bargain for that?

Inspiration is the whole cork out of the champagne bottle ... fun part,
and there in lies the rub.

Is it fun, to create, startup, fail and still be making progress ?
Or is it the chase of the inspiration ...

Is it required to be dogged, relentless in the Corporate pursuits, 99% perspiring for ...
the advancement of the enterprise, for the ... the
money ?!??

Fuck money.

What does it have to do with living, really.

All the meaning people attach to it ... all the people who die without it ...

My money axiom "Let it flow, and let it go ..."  ... its not meant to be static,
but fluid.

If its not flowing ... its dead, and when you're dead the vultures will
pick it apart for the taking, devour it, and never benefit anyway.

So make the money do the work.

I'm remiss to work for money,
but I make that dirty stuff work for me ...

and I look for the next way to be inspired, constantly

if I want to perspire,
i've got better ways and reasons to do it
and it always means more,
when its sweat for free

and so I fail.

I fail to meet the perspiration requirements for the air-quotes of success,
I fail again and again.
Used to get me down, really, depressed ... sometimes couldn't get out of bed,
then ... wait,   no,    I'm an optimist.

Like the Buffalo Bills, picking myself up by my boostraps feels right,
haven't met the hole big enough to not climb out of,
and its again and again,
I dig another one, fail, and climb back out.

Forward.

I call it "Failing Forward".

Winners & Losers - Social D.
Listen here: Winners and Losers.mp3 (8.70 mb)

Winners and losers, turn the pages of my life
We’re beggars and choosers, with all the struggles and the strife
I got no reason to turn my head and look the other way
We’re good and we’re evil, which one will I be today?

There’s saints and sinners
Life’s a gamble and you might lose
There’s cowards and heroes
Both have been known now to break the rules
There’s lovers and haters
The strong and the weak will all have their day
We’re devils and angels
Which one will I be today?

Chorus:
Are you happy now with all the choices you’ve made?
Are there times in life when you know you should’ve stayed?
Will you compromise and then realize the price is too much to pay?
Winners and losers, which one will you be today?

There’s a light and a dark side
Standing at the crossroads, there we’ll meet
There’s prophets and fools there
The lies and the truth, will be at our feet
I got a reason to turn my head and look the other way
Its heaven and hell here, which one will I live today?

Chorus:
Are you happy now with all the choices you’ve made?
Are there times in life when you know you should’ve stayed?
Did you compromise and then realize the price was too much to pay?
Winners and losers, which one will you be today?

Which one will you be today?
Which one will I be today?

I love the lyric,

"Understand the world we live in,
love can mean anything ..."

from James' song "Seven"

... any gesture,

any kind word,

any random act, hug, wink, laugh or glance

We're so connected and seek connection,
and we're so in our head and alone at times.

Understand with the Facebook, Cell, Voicemail,
email, XBox, DirecTV, periodicals, newspapers and junk mail ...
that 

through the noise,
cutting through the clutter ...
you have the infinite power

that love,
can mean anything

intentional

m.

Listen and enjoy,  "Love can change anything"

Click here -> 11 Seven.mp3 (6.17 mb) , James, from the Album "Seven"

Blow me away
Was that love you declared
Only a word
love can mean anything

Understand the world we're livin in

Oceans apart
What's that view from your way
Beautiful craft
Weather can change

Understand the world were living in
Love can mean anything

God made love to me
Soothed away my gravity
Gave me a pair of angels wing
Clear vision and some magic things

God is love love to me
Thank you for those things

Understand the world were living in
Love can mean anything

Darling I'm open
And darling I'm broken

Now we don't have time
Let you drift away
Like a heavy cloud
With the weight of rain

Understand the world were living in
Love can mean anything
Understand the world were living in
Love can mean anything
Understand the world were living in
Love can mean anything
Understand the world were living in
Love can change anything

Its easy to feel down
and sing with Kurt (or the Vaseline's version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ujC0b67dc4 )
when things don't go our way...

I woke up tonight, with the song in my head ... after an apparent defeat
that I put totally in his hands,
... why?   Doesn't Jesus want me for a Sunbeam?

"Don't expect me to cry,
for all the reasons you had to die...
don't ever ask your love of me

don't expect me to cry
don't expect me to lie
don't expect me to die for thee"

And the masses say "Beautiful, Kurt"  right on.

The irony, and emblem that kurt left, by
taking his own life, in the pain of his own humanity
however, or like the picture
the four walls of the prison of our
flesh and mind, and soul
face living a life without him

No, Kurt's death should provide us with more evidence
why trying to control our own mortality, 
thinking we can control of our own life (or death)
is as futile as
hearding cats ... in this case your thoughts play the role of "cat"

God doesn't want you to live, or die in vain
for vanity
for insanity
or like Kurt, coward out ... or have your "cats" overrun your life
... alls he wants for you is peace

All he expects is love and
acceptance of his sacrifice.
All he grants is ... forgiveness.

While we're called to "die" in our life of sin,
and arise to a new day of freedom in his glory
we aren't expected to take our own life, literally
(or figuratively, waste our life)
due to our acknowledging our humanity,
or frailties our failures

but to know we are forgiven
by the blood of his sacrifice on the cross
and move on with our life
and our purpose, however it is laid out (by him)

God does want me
for a Sunbeam

I do cry, for all the reasons he had to die
... I will die for thee.

For all these reasons, I am humbled and thankful.

Hallelujiah,
can I get an "Amen".

m.

"...Everyone's jumping everyone else's train ..."
When I first heard these lyrics in 1979/1980 from the Cure
I was a big fan ... didn't know how true those
lyrics would be, throughout life.

Everything's derivative, nothing's original.  Another statement,
echoed of the plight of non-individualism.

I'm as guilty as the next, of throughout my youth,
hitchin' rides for free ...
on the perverbial Kundalini Express,
day trippin' yet still heading
for conformity-ville, USA.

I"ve spent days wracking my brain,
for a new idea ... since the Poem, "Desk",
looking for that new verse, that one gem of a concept ...

Nothing.

Been hashing, and re-hashing, following in the footsteps
and flattering with mimicry.

I'm bored over the whole concept,
of concept.  

Been there, done that, doing it again ... feels like
reincarnation all the time.  Even my dreams are stale,
I wake not in awe of them ...

There is a problem amidst the daily grind,
the stable life, the conformity to social norms
and the idea that safe won't be sorry ...

and that is, it is sorry.

To be jumpin' someone else idea of a train ride,
is downright mentally debilitating

and leads to not being sure, exactly
where its leading

or when,
to get off

m.

When all is said,
when all is done

When the kids are gone,
or gone to bed

When you're sure
you're certain
but certainly unsure

When the past grows dim
and the photos fade

When there's no one to call,
and the phone doesn't ring

When the stuggle is over
and the calm and peace draw near

When life, and living
are before you
and nothing you "wouldn't do over again"
(but surely wouldn't) is behind you

When you feel your heartbeat,
or hear the rhythm
of
your own breathing

its then you know,
at the very least

you are,
alive.

m.