Positive drift

 

I've always been fascinated with the concept of time, and how it plays into my life's journey.

We constrain it into a 24 hour cycle, based on the sun. We move it up and hour, then back an hour.
We pack it into the years, by days-  365 of them.  We are consumed with managing it.

I sang karaoke with a girl, a Stone's song "Time, is on my side" in my twenties,
it was (on my side).  I didn't care about time or place, or anything (well, except her. I dug her.)

Also, wrote a poem "Time is a theif" .  What did that mean?  What is time stealing?

I think it robs you of:  the here and now, the present.   It is this moment that time cannot touch, so it wants you to think about time ago, or into the future.  Time is flummoxed at the idea of the infinite present moment.   It can't mark it, it can't time-box it, it is the exact moment, right now, that if you try and define it with time ... you can't.   A second before now is the past, a second from now is the future.
Dammit, the present confounds and irritates time, really makes it mad that it can't control the present moment.

Time isn't on anyone's side, it just isn't.   Just as a robber doesn't care,
time doesn't care.  It has to do what it has to do, tick-tick-tick.

As we drift through life it is important to stay positive.   We age, we experience the winds of change, constantly.  Any one of those changes can throw us off course, if we let it.

The energy of the universe plays out on our canvas and paints with its rhythmic harmonic tones, a tapestry of beauty and splendor.  The universe doesn't care about time, it has seemingly been around for an infinite time.  Our life and karmic energies, a blip.  Energy is energy.  It can't be created or destroyed (Julius Robert Mayer, 1842, First Law of Thermodynamics)

The universe then channels her energy vibes to us all the time.   They come in unexcpected patterns and ripples but we are beating to the pace of another taskmaster, the clock, to time's second hand.  

It's a ludicrous human orchestra sound.  Crash-cymbal-beat-horn-honk  The universe gives a clean note, we miss it, or keep tapping like a metronome to time; to the seconds.  Often we can't get the balance or rhythm right, the harmonic dis-resonance is in our bodies, we feel off.

Paying attention to our soul, drinking in the energies around us is the only antidote to time.  The ONLY antitode to time.   The only way around marking a life with time is to enjoy this moment. 
When we are syncopated, I think some might call this a flow state, or zone.   Time becomes irrelevent.

As change happens in your life, drift along with it.   Flow.   You'll be a lot happier with the ride.

Live your life like a successive, infinitely strung together, beautiful, present moments. 
Like all of your moments are grains of sand, blown across a dune, or the water molecules holding themselves together flowing down the stream.

Drift positively.

Love is a verb

Sanskrit has 96 words for "love", from Sneha a maternal love, to Kama - erotic or amorous love, Rati - enjoy or delight in something or someone, to Priya or "darling", often reserved for love a little girls in India and Nepal.

In the English language we have one word: Love.   Love with its several definitions. Websters Dictionary primarily defines it as a noun. A noun?   A person, place or thing.  Hmmmm.

See Webster's def. of Love  

As a noun Love then is defined as:  tender affection, or warm, personal attachment or sexual passion or desire.   That could mean anything from "yummy soup" to "I want to rip your clothes off". Confusing, at best.  So much is left up to the listener to figure out the nuance of your spoken words "I love you".

Such is the English language.

But, I challenge something different- something that can clear the air about Love.   I think love isn't primarily a noun.  It isn't the Webster's limited verb scope usage, either.   I don't think the verb used to conjugate an object and a predicate (as in "Her fans love her") is enough for this powerful word.  I think the definition, is off.  I think it's verb meaning is deeper than that.  Love pun intended.

Love is a verb, but only through its use as an action. 

The little things, the big things ... the daily things that we as a human species do for our fellow humans.  The efforts we give, the encouragements, the tone and the purpose of those tones (soft and pleasant, or forceful and directed) ... to help others.  I'm often asked why something tastes so good, to wit I proffer "It was cooked with love".

The way in which we do communicate, act, show up, support, encourage, titillate, humor, cook for, watch over, do laundry for, clean, wipe and burp are .... all Love!

The absense of love is the absence of doing for other humans.   Babies who aren't held are shown to be in trauma by many studies.  Trauma !   If we negate "not doing" it becomes doing, which is an action, is therefore a verb. It's simple equation reduction that brings me to this final answer: Love = a verb, but moreso, Love = an act of doing.  

An axiom I have held as true: the opposite of love isn't hate.  No, it isn't.  Hate has its place in the yin-yang of the universe as dark form of love.  Some will gravitate to it, to their own hurt.  Hate is like a fallen angel type of feeling, that shouldn't land on you.   It is best to process through and let go.  You have to care about someone to really hate them.  But why be dark?  Forgive, forget.  Get back to Love.

No, the "not doing", or the opposite of love is indifference.   It is both milquetoast and debilitating, this thing called indifference.   It's the opposite of connection.   When we feel another person's indifference it sends a chill through our heart, it's palpable in reverse.  Why?
Because we want to be acted upon, feel that connection ... we want to be loved.

Taking that apart in- and difference, means not making a difference; So we musn't be indifferent.
As a verb, Love must be shown through action - so make a difference in someone else's life today!   

Do something for someone and you will be defining your verb, your action, your Love.

An Actress's final Act

Imagine our life as an etch-a-sketch,
how simple it would be to erase
and start over
just shake that shit off our mental screen

What a splendor it would be for the tormented
Anne Heche to shake away those images
of the perversions of her father on her

How him contracting  AIDS spoke to his inner demons
how her curiosity and love (yes love)
of him, may have pushed her into Ellen's arms for a while

How her brother found a tree,
to wrap his car around,
perhaps the shame too great to bear.

How her crazy, couldn't stop with drugs,
or alcohol, or sex ... or work (she had over 40 films to her credit)
nor would her book "Call me Crazy" spell relief.

Blame the fentynal laced coke,
blame the paparazzi,
blame the father, swine
Mostly the father, that fucker.

A life so smothered with shame, guilt, hate, confusion
she raced her Mini-Cooper full speed to nowhere,
into a house,
unable to shake the etch-a-sketch board clean

Did she think, smoldering in her car
'Oh, great I survived' this as a dreamscape
Only to have the fire department, put out the structure fire
as she smoldered and time ticked on ...
did she hope this is it, or just another bad dream

As they took her cloaked, covered and charred body
to the Ambulance
she sat up, like a zombie apocolypse 
showing "life" , one last time as if to say "I'm free!"

almost.

The tortured life of a kamikaze pilot.   R.I.P.  Anne Heche

Life and death

I read a quote from Anthony Bourdain, that had me wanting to try a new drink.

I thought about my fondness of teaching and helping others that sprang out of a T.A. job I had in college.

I thought,  'what is life about?'

It dawned on me, life is a reflection;   of that which we imbue on each other.

Nothing more.

If we can learn anything before we leave this planet it should be this:
We were made to relate. To share, to lift up.

love.  It is the force behind each and every imbuement.

Negroni

"But I think the Negroni is the perfect cocktail because it is three liquors that I don’t particularly like. I don’t like Campari, and I don’t like sweet vermouth and I don’t particularly love gin. But you put them together with that little bit of orange rind in a perfect setting… It’s just: It sets you up for dinner, in a way it makes you hungry, sands the edges off the afternoon. In an after dinner, it’s settling. It is both aperitif and digestive. It’s a rare drink that can do that." ~ Anthony Bourdain

Bottom

Deafening Silence blares yet the mind can't conjure anything.

For the first time in a long time, vacant. 

If ignorance is bliss, I'm approaching ecstatic.

Mentally aware, that I'm checked out.

I feel myself hurt.  Physically.  It's bad. Awful. Neglected. Wretch of a man.

Repeatedly incurring that sinking feeling

so this is the downward slide

to bottom.

Asleep

A ball, like twine, of tightly wrapped
and jangled nerves

losing the work of our toil and virtue,
seething with anger and ambivalence

Life a boondoggle,

an unsolvable Rubik
A jigsaw puzzle with a missing piece

Time warps our mind
and stress misshapes our bodies

Reduced to simplicity
now so much harder to stomach

Dreams escape
like a pressure release
... hiss

Things wind tighter, and tighter
pressure keeps us awake,
and simultaneously puts us asleep

Information overwhelms
yet underwhelms.
Turning it off, brings more noise.

Like a wrestler 'sleeper hold' just above the eye sockets,
1..2..3

Out,
like so much warm milk

Black bean-Quinoa Kale Corn Burgers recipe

You Eating Healthy's recipe for bean burgers went through many modifications, the main difficulty is getting them to hold together.  The black beans, the corn, the kale ... all makes for a disjointed bunch of ingredients.   But we have a "binding" formula.

I glued a mason jar lid, with super glue to the mason jar ring (white side is out and the thing is a bit concave then), then I put on a protective cover (a plastic Glad sandwich bag) and scoop about 1/2 cup of mixture and press the amount with the lid.   Makes a nicely shaped burger, and I do it on a 4" x 4" square of parchment paper, then flip it carefully onto the parchment lined cookie sheet.   Make sure to press and hold, and you have enough that it is squeezing a bit out on the sides to form a nice patty.

It also helps to refrigerate the mixture, prior to pattying it up for an hour.  You can halve the batch to make about 10 burgers, or make a full batch ... they freeze well after baking.

Black Bean  & Quinoa Burgers
Makes 20 burgers

Ingredients
4 cup black beans
4 cup quinoa (cooked)
3 cup yellow onion, finely diced
6 cup kale, stemmed and ripped (or cut) into 1" shreds
3 cup frozen corn, thawed (don't cook it, leave it at room temp)
1 cup ground flax seed, if you buy whole flax, put it into a Vitamix to 'grind' it
4 tbsp chic pea (garbanzo) flour, or I use Bob's Red Mill Fava/Garbanzo flour
1/4 c water
3 tbsp Olive Oil

1 1/2 tbsp smoked paprika
1 1/2 tbsp ancho chili powder
2 tsp sea salt
2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp cumin

Prep
Cook black beans (unless using canned black beans)
Cook quino  2-to-1  1.5 cup quinoa to 3 cup water should make almost 4 cups cooked

Cooking
Saute onion in olive oil until softened and brown (aprox 5-6 min)
Saute kale in olive oil (or even toast in a dry pan) until nicely fragrant and slightly brown edges

Binding Formula
In food-processor, combine 1 cup black beans, 1/4 c. water, flax and chic pea flour, blend until smooth, but don't overblend (not creamy, grainy is ok)

In a large bowl, add the remaining black beans, binding formula and mash with a potato masher until combined.  Add the onions, kale, corn and stir with wooden spoon.
Refrigerate for 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 400-deg

Divide mixture into 4 oz. portions (about 1/2 cup, or a bit less) and using your mason jar lid contraption, patty up the burgers.

Bake at 400-deg for 18-20 minutes.   When handling, you want to take care, they will fall apart, so spatula carefully.   One technique, too, is to cut individual 4" squares of parchment for the patties, make them on the 4" squares, and leave them on the 4" squares until ready to grill or pan fry.

I've never tried grilling them, but it may work.  I alway pan fry them (after baking) like I was making a burger, over med-high heat with a bit of olive oil in the pan for 3-4 minutes per side (until lightly browned).

To Serve:

I toast a good bun.
Put simple avacado-lime guacomole (you can make it anyway you like) on the top of bun,
On the bottom of the bun, I like mustard ... but on the cart we used chipotle mayo.
Layer red leaf lettuce, red onion and a thick slice of tomato.
And open wide !

We serve with wedge fries, but you can have any sides you like.

Nutritionally these burgers, with bun check out at about 700 calories, the same as a Quarter Pounder with cheese.   The difference is it had 30 grams fewer fat grams (44 or something for the Quarter Pounder) and with the beasn, flax and kale ... a TON of fiber.

These are very filling burgers!  Enjoy.