Monday, January 13, 2014

Superstition


Thirteen is the sixth prime number, reversed ("31") its the 10th prime number.  Its also in the Fibonacci series.

To me, its the year and date in January where I where I went to the edge, and there I stood and looked down.   I didn't correlate the event to the number 13 until the year was nearly over.
Damn glad, to be out of 2013.

I'm not superstitious mind you (although I read my horoscope, "Who doesn't?" right?), but I don't like to see black cats, and I don't break mirrors.  I have walked under ladders, thinking ... well this is just stupid.  Not that I did it, but that it qualifies as a superstition ... if you are going to have bad luck (like a hammer, or paint bucket falling on your head ... OF COURSE IT WOULD BE FROM WALKING UNDER A LADDER) that's fact not something spewing from the supernatural.

So it's the 13th today.  One year after 'my event' that sent me speeding, sirens blaring to the emergency room, to remove a blockage and insert a stent into my diseased body.  

It was great to have my life saved, and I thought if it weren't for the kind firemen and EMTs, and the crew that received me and the family that supported me it could have turned out different.  If I was miles away, in a ravine hunting deer, or climbing down by myself a coastal slope I mightn't have made it.

A brush with death, however scant and non-invasive, is still an eye-opener to what the rest of your life may become.   Each day takes on more significance, each message sent to your family a bit more resonant and direct.

This 13th, I'm moving forward with some more help for myself with some knee injections to help alleviate pain and promote synovial  fluid production.  I'm happy to be able to do this, and other things to promote a better, pain free life.

13 will still be a number I shy away from, and stigmatize for its poignancy in my life, but I think I will take the tact when encountering it from now on, to do something good for myself.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Still

Still, stillness
in the quiet of the morn'

Nothing, nothingness
vacated thoughts
percolating some distant emotion

There is only enough time
to think

in the stillness
I love you still