Authenticity is what we seek in our life, our relationships, and inside our true self.
The opposite of which conjures up, fake, fraud, deceit, forgery, blasphemy, improper, counterfeit and the list goes on.
The problem (and the solution) to dealing with authenticity is that it is nowhere, and everywhere. Let's look at some examples:
You go to the grocery store, you check out and hand your $100 bill to the cashier who either stands awkwardly holding your bill up to get a better look, "Does it have the strip in it?" Is it a fake? Or they simply rub this marker against it and get a 'brown line' confirmation of its authenticity.
Another example, a girl goes into a bar with a fake id. Bartender looks at it, looks at the girl, makes a split decision on whether to accept the id, accept the girl into the establishment, or call it out as fake. His authenticity vs. hers.
If only we had that brown marker, to rub on our foreheads, or on others foreheads once in a while.
Seems life could be a lot simpler, if people would open up to being authentic and we ourselves would follow our internal calling and cues to authenticity.
This world is full of less than authentic drivel and posturing, masks and subterfuge. There is the rare few, true, authentic people that we marvel at and the rest, bouncing around with masks and missives,
fears and anxieties, good days and not so good days, always trying to figure out what is wrong always putting on the 'happy face', always making sure the true self stays submerged.
Back to the brown marker on the forehead.
For years, I struggled with being the best husband, best entrepreneur, best partier, best son and completely lived a web of fake, fraud, deceit, blasphemy, forgery, improperly carrying myself and my body around the planet to make more, be more, show more, fake more and be more than anyone could deny. But it was a farce, a lie, an assault on my own intelligence.
Once put to the test, my forehead showed no brown lines. My authenticity was lost, somewhere between establishing myself ... and establishing myself 'grandly' (because grandiose is too ostentatious).
You see in trying to be something I wasn't, I became something I'm not.
In putting back the pieces of who I am, and who I belong to and who I walk with down this path called life ... it comes back to me, my lord, and my spouse. These people I walk with and am authentic with and myself with and there are no airs about it. It just is. Usually.
Until I would make it more than it is. Until I would veer from my authentic self, into the best brother, son, brother-in-law, uncle area of existence where there was no validation, no acceptance and no reason to be there. It was a forgery, a misfire, a goof, an attempt to please.
Your authentic self does not really need to please others.
There are only a few people (bare a few unlucky soles) that see the naked me. The true person.
The authentic self needs to have proper discourse with others, not made up excuses.
When necessary, speaking the truth in love is required. Others will recoil, spit, and curse your name. So be it. It is none of your business what others think of you.
But to be in communion with others, to enjoy their company and to spend time with them, to be exchanging love vibes that is the essence of authentic self.
Your authentic self doesn't need to desire or avoid things, unnecessarily and with attachment.
In Buddhism it is said the strong non-attachment is as non-authentic, as the strong attachment to desires (outcomes).
You can want for things, and let it go. You can wish things were different, and don't wax nostalgic about how they could've been.
To live within one's authentic self, is to just be. Content with the way things are, and not attached to the outcomes, many of which are out of your control.
If you desire, and need the outcome so badly, are so attached ... check yourself, use the brown marker on your forehead. It's likely not going to show a line, you've lost your way and need to regroup.
Your authenticity, your integrity, your words, your deeds and your spirit are all wrapped up in one concept: love.
Love is the essence of your true nature, your authentic self knows it manifests itself in many ways, both in action and inaction. The key is to be loving, and not desirous of things, places, events to the point of attachment.
It's been said in making a deal, the person who can walk away from the deal is the powerful negotiator, and usually will get the deal to lean their way. They will win!
Make a deal with yourself, to be less attached to outcomes. Walk away.
and into happiness and more loving in your everyday life.